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This year signifies a ten-year milestone since the term “ghosting” entered the public consciousness. At the time, the notion that someone could abruptly cease all contact with a partner without a word seemed like the peak of disrespect. Our innocence was charming. In the decade since, navigating toward a mate has only become more confounding – an commonly pointless exercise in awkwardness that is increasingly pigeonholed by online slang.

Zoomers, a generation who matured during a loneliness crisis, a masculinity crisis, and a concerted challenge on the freedoms of women and the queer community, faces a infinitely more complex landscape than their millennial forerunners could ever envision. And so their romantic lexicon has grown longer and more unhinged, with expressions like “Ogre-ing” and “vine swinging” testing the limits of your sanity.

Below is a comprehensive glossary to the words this generation is using to navigate romance, intimacy and the search of both. To paraphrase one of the year’s most popular memes, by the conclusion of this guide you’ll yearn to get back to a bygone era – because where that is, it doesn’t have “ideological catfishing”.

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A

Genuineness – According to Zoomers, romance's ultimate goal is presenting as your true, unvarnished self. Best wishes with that!

B

Bird theory – A online phenomenon inspired by a framework developed by relationship scientists, in which you point out something trivial – for example, “A bird flew by earlier” – and note whether your date's response is inquisitive or disinterested. If they aren't interested to hear more about the bird, you two are not compatible.

Independent partner – Gen Z’s rebuttal to the “manic pixie dream girl” stereotype of the early 2000s – but instead of having baby bangs, liking indie music and eschewing commitment, the black cat girlfriend puts herself first while exuding mystery and self-sufficiency. (She could possibly have that fringe.)

C

Seat theory – This refers to choosing someone who supports you proactively. If you entered a room, they would fetch a chair for you to sit down.

Errand romance – A meet-up where two people form a link while doing chores, such as pet care or food shopping. In other words, how broke young adults do low-cost dating in a post-cheap-date world.

Emotional spiral – Losing it when you feel burdened by life. You can lose it over a infatuation or split, spilling all of your unreciprocated emotions.

D

Dink – Dual income no kids. Once a symbol of 1980s young urban professional affluence, it describes couples who forgo parenthood to prioritize their own fulfillment. Or because they cannot afford to become parents.

The Letter E

Emotional vibe coding – The antithesis of acting aloof: utilizing communication, honesty and openness.

F

Signals

• Red flags – Personal habits indicating a potential partner is trouble. Examples include calling their former partners unstable, subpar gratuity habits, a fondness for controversial director films, a burgeoning DJ career …
• Green flags – These quirks confirm your choice to pursue a partner. Examples include checking in to make sure you got home safe after a date, minimal screen time, having a proper bed …
• Beige flags – These typically describe specific, largely harmless quirks. For instance being an keen ornithologist, still keeping a pen in their wallet, paying the rent in cash …

Niche bonding – When you meet someone who’s just as obsessive about documentaries about the second world war or physical media hoarding or art or anything it may be, as you. Or, conversely, finding someone who loathes the same things or individuals that you do (few things creates closeness faster than having a common enemy).

The Letter G

Geese – A musical group your gen Z boyfriend listens to.

Zombie-ing – Someone who resurfaces into your life after a period of silence.

Golden retriever boyfriend – Someone who is friendly, eager to please and devoted. The rare partner who is beloved by all of his partner’s friends, and a mysterious partner's foil.

Gooners – A primarily online subculture of men so preoccupied with self-pleasure that they attempt lengthy sessions, deliberately postponing climax so they can continue as long as possible.

The Letter H

Pessimistic straight dating – A mindset describing many women's increasing cynicism toward heterosexual relationships. It will come as little surprise to anyone who read the above entry.

Traditional ideal woman – An archetype touted by manosphere figures: a woman who is sexually desirable, ever-comforting and contentedly domestic, who seemingly has no aspirations of her own aside from pleasing her man partner. Maybe now you’re beginning to understand the whole “pessimism” thing better?

The Letter I

Ick factors – Arbitrary and usually everyday repulsions that immediately extinguish any feelings of desire.

“If he wanted to, he would" – Something to keep in mind after you watch someone else receive an extremely sweet act.

J

Jobs – These have not been this significant in the romance landscape since the greed-is-good era. For some women, a “finance bro” is the ultimate catch: a fleece-vest-wearing, Republican-coded guy who will be a provider (there’s a popular TikTok song on the topic). Meanwhile the anti-capitalist crowd opt for partners in professions they perceive as being staffed by the more emotionally available among us: healthcare workers, educators or therapists.

The Letter K

Making out – This year, researchers learned that kissing has existed for 16m years. But the era of locking lips may be numbered since some Zoomers desire fewer sex scenes in film, as they are having less sex themselves and do not find cinematic intimacy believable.

Kittenfishing – Mild deception. Or, not exactly lying about who you are, but maybe using older (better) photos of yourself on a dating app profile, or making your job sound more impressive than it is. Also known as {